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CONGRESS BUSTS LOOSE FROM ENGLAND

                Philadelphia, Pa., July 8.―It's just been announced that the Congressath United Coloniesa America went an passed a "Declaration of Independence" last Tuesday, July 2. When th'announcment was made, they had a big celebration, shoutin an ringin bells all over the place.
                Lotsath wordinath Declaration was taken from the similar declaration issued last year by the hillbilliesa North Carolina, from Mecklenburg Court House. The declaration o rights in the document's most important parta it, and it's quite a bit more complicated n the hillbilly one, but the same general idea. Not that anyath United Colonies, or anyath membersa Congress, really know what that's all about, but it expresses what lotsath rebels in America's fightin for.
                To emphasize independence, the declaration even changes the namath "United Colonies of America" to "United States of America," bein's theyre declared tabee "free and independent states."
                The declaration got passed on the 2nd, but was dated ahead to the 4th, tamake evidence agin the members a Congress harder in case the revolution lost. The date, July 4, probably got picked cause it's the hundreth anniversarya Amnesty Day from the Rebellion in Virginia.
                Congress also, before adjourning, got up a committee tadrawuppa constitution for itself an asked all the States (the new name for the Colonies) to do the same for emselves.
                Rhode Island an Connecticut had already declared independence, an Virginia already took a few steps that direction subject to Congress's approval. The mountain districta North Carolina did that last year, an thed been already some sorta independence, though not official, in Massachusetts, Vermount an Kentucky, an also the overmountain parta North Carolina called Watauga, been independent for years but aingot nothin to do with the "United States."
                The main opposition in Congress to independence came from New York an South Carolina. South Carolina got won over when news came that the British fleet bombarded Charles Town; a minority signed for New York, an the rest are now resigning.
                The new nation what just got born's a new experiment in federal government―13 in 1―an theyre so much agin monarchy that they aingot no real head but Congress. The nearest thing to a big boss Congress got's its president, John Hancock o Boston, who aint even got a vote there.

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HOWE'S OFFERS AMNESTY

                Staten Island, N.Y., July 12.―Lord Howe issued his own proclamation here today after gettin the latest news from Philadelphia. He offers Complete pardon an amnesty to anybody that'll come back right away to British allegiance. The peopla New York City, across the bay from here, are reported waitin for the chance. Bein's the Continental soldiers now doin police duty in the city are now considered genuine rebels, war preparations agin em have started, an thell probably be some move agin Brooklyn soon to try an drive the rebels outath place an get New York city itself, where the people's mostly loyalist.

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RIGHTS AN LIBERTY

                We wish good luck to the new rebel nation that's just got itself to a good star! They started out by declarin some wonderful things about the rightsath people that they probably dont understand nohow, but it'll give em sompinta live up to for years an years. The politicians in Congress started to declare just independence, but before they got through they wound up by declarin rights―even the right to revolute whenever the people dont like the government. Twarnt the Congressmen's ideas; twas the people's ideas, been in the air in America all this time―was here even before their ancestors emigrated, cause our Penacook nations is where it really comes from.
                An dont let nobody scare ya that our independence leaves England open to attack from the Bourbons in France. Thes sompin queer if France wants to help out, but let em try. We might even teach the French sompin about rights an freedom if they come over here.
                Hurray for rights, federation, an revolution!


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